Insight 101

Have you experienced your good relationship with your children and co-parent torn apart by divorce?

Co-parenting brings new challenges to parenting and needs adjustment from the traditional and familial parenting and roles to succeed at keeping two families intact and a healthy relationship for each parent with their children.

Occasional comments are not going to effect the children while regular contact is sustained between the parents.  Where it becomes an issue is when one parent starts to engage in systematic parental alienation either intentionally or unintentionally.  Parental Alienation can happen at different levels from mild, moderate to severe levels with devastating consequences for children and parents.  Awareness at earlier stages can save families.

When parental alienation is facilitated by external parties such as family members, authorities or by litigation abuse, it condemns innocent children under the guise of the law or by coercion.  It is an epidemic on Global levels with varying reasons.  The overall symptoms are children grieving a living parent and a parent grieving living children.  These are good enough parents thrown into the chaos of divorce parenting and conflict when focus on cooperative co-parenting and long term effects of conventional wisdom when bias for one parent is not healthy.  Contemporary research has shown the benefits of shared parenting longer term even with the transitions and adjustments needed for two homes, two families.

 A child who experiences the sudden or cumulative disruption of a previously strong attachment with a parent and wider family suffers grievously
(source: The UK Parental Alienation Study)

And on the extreme level

 According to Dr Craig Childress (leading expert globally based in the USA), there is no worse pathology in the attachment system than the complete severance of a parent-child bond.
(Source: The UK Parental Alienation Study)

‘A child’s greatest fear is abandonment and loss of attachment. Any attempt to distort or destroy it, is psychologically abusive.’ (Source: The UK Parental Alienation Study)

We support and empathise without judgment on your status or situation. Promoting relationships between parents is a priority at VerityMC.

Verity Mentoring and Coaching helps mothers and fathers to be prepared and find purpose through the pain.

There is a lot that can be done by cooperative co-parenting and by early intervention when known what to look for with early signs.  It often goes beyond conventional parenting for the Targeted Parent (TP) and erodes confidence on all levels.

Alienating Parents (APs can be family members or external parties) use tactics sometimes not realising the adverse effects on the children.   For the more severe cases it's complex and insidious especially when it's intentional and covert.

Choose VerityMC to help you with Parental Alienation emotions when people tell you ‘it's nothing’, ‘they’ll come round eventually’, ‘it’s in the child’s best interest’, ‘it’s what the child wants’, or ‘it’s normal in divorce or this age’.

If you start to see uncharacteristic changes when co-parenting, don't assume it's always the divorce or adjusting to two homes.  With co-operative, healthy parents children's behaviour or character are not effected and whereas there are different emotions core values and sense of self stay intact.

As soon as you separate or divorce, your new status as co-parents brings new responsibilities, whether you have cooperation or conflict in your relationship.  

Be prepared beyond the conventional routes for your children's sake - get mentoring and coaching around Co-Parenting and Communication working faster on mindset for a smoother divorce and smoother transition to Co-Parenting.